“Your Heart is a Weapon the Size of your Fist. Keep loving, keep fighting, keep writing.” (A sentimental tale of synchronicity)

Most writers have a mantra of some sort. This is the story of mine.

Wise words  from the amazing street-artist Charles Uzzell-Edwards of Pure Evil Gallery – and my inspiration for the ‘Break-up Club’ – my latest novel (and now TV Comedy Drama pilot)… Below is the very sentimental tale of serendipity and the kindness of strangers…which I’m sharing one week on as an alternative Valentine’s day message, one week on from 14th Feb…

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It was some time in 2009, and I was in the middle of a stinky break-up (along with my BUC comrades). I was walking home through Shoreditch in the dark, wondering if I’d ever love again, and other self-indulgent pangs – when I happened to walk past this street art fly-posted to a brick wall. I didn’t know what it was or where it had come from, but I do know it stopped me in my tracks, and gave me a tiny bolt of hope. 

Maybe – just maybe – we’d all be OK. I took this photo of it, stuck it on my noticeboard, and started writing a novel about how break-ups might seem like the worst thing ever, but actually, they make you stronger in ways you could never imagine. I put this quote in the front of book, as I thought it made a great opener. My friend Em was also struck by it, and stuck it up on her wall while she wrote the pilot for her awesome TV series (which would later be sold to ITV).

A year or so later, I was walking round a different part of Shoreditch, not quite sure what to do with myself, having just said good-bye to my darling father at the London Heart Hospital. If you’ve ever been blessed with compassionate leave, then you’ll know it’s a strange sort of numb and fuzzy fortnight where you wander round in the middle of the day while everyone’s at work. You’re not sure what to do with all this spare time, but you’re being fussed over with love and flowers from everyone in a way that feels like a weird inverted birthday and you’re infinitely grateful for it…. but you’d swap it in a heartbeat for one more second with your loved one.

Anyway, there I was, walking the streets in a broken-hearted stupor again, when I passed the same poster. But this time it was a framed print, staring at me through a sheet of glass. The door was open so I wandered in, and started warbling on to the man in the gallery about how much I loved this piece of street-art. For some reason, the man took pity on me (It was probably my bloodshot eyes, or my snotty nose), but I told him all about my dad, my silly book about break-ups, and how this quote had been a kind of torchlight. This lovely man – Charley – he said his name was – reached into one of his really long art drawers, and pulled out an original signed A1 print.

As he handed it to me it felt like another bolt of hope that everything was going to be OK. I didn’t realize then that he was the actual famous artist, who is better known by the moniker of Pure Evil. Stunned by his generosity, I took the print home, and my lovely mum had it beautifully framed.

It then hung in my office next to me while I finished the book – which was no picnic when I was pining for my dad most days, and also still undiagnosed ADHD so struggling with burnout and a complete lack of Creative Satnav, so wasted years getting lost in the woods and going round in plot circles. But eventually I made it to ‘The End’ and got a deal with Harper Collins. like my dad always said, what does not kill you makes you stronger. To be clear, he was channeling the great German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche – not Kelly Clarkson!

It’s true of course. No matter how shitty things get, you always rise again from the rubble, more emotionally toned than before. But this episode also taught me something else – that sometimes the kindness of strangers is that last push you need to pick yourself up and carry on. Like when Holly (my character) is on the bus sobbing her eyes out over Lawrence and a kind old lady gives her her bottle of water. Anyway, I finally finished the novel, and it’s out there! I’m probably making far too big a big deal of this, but I just wanted to write this by way of thank you to Charles – kind stranger, whose brilliant words are still right there in the prologue.

And as a final irony in the tale, when I came over to Venice Beach, LA to celebrate my book being released, and to start work on the screenplay adaptation, Charley himself was over there, having an art gallery opening that same night, streets away from where I was having the book launch… Honestly – serendipity really does make the world go round sometimes!

 

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UPDATE: I wrote about this story a few years ago but now, 6 years later, the TV comedy drama script adaptation I’ve written also has the poster itself in the script! 

IMG_7775In the final scene of the pilot script, the main character Holly walks past the poster in the final scene, just as she’s on the threshold of a break-up herself. So far it’s been top 4% of BBC Writers’ Room and the Thousand Films Competition (losing to the amazing Extraordinary! Fair enough!)

The script is currently with a channel being read…. please cross fingers that it gets picked up!

Also, series two is set in Venice Beach… where the Los Angeles franchise of ‘The Break Up Club’ gets going…

 

 

Anyway, whether you had a happy Valentine’s Day this year – or  a crappy one because you’ve recently loved and lost – don’t lose heart. Keep loving, keep fighting… keep writing 🙂

 
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FOR WHOM THE SAD BELL TOLLS: THIS WORLD MENTAL HEALTH DAY, MEET MISTER BOB BRIAN.

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We dearly love the artist Rob Ryan. We really do. Truth be told, I find his stuff so moving and unabashedly sentimental that I’ve been known to weep when faced with too many of his paper-cut poems in one go. A friend once had to physically extract me from Ryantown because it was all so romantic I thought I was going to pop.

Some friends and I got to thinking what MisterRob’s work would look like if you sprinkled a bit of um, realism over it…for realism, read clinical depression. Something all too common, but that’s only just becoming ok to admit… thanks to initiatives like World Mental Health Day. These days the Sad bell rings for 1 in 4 of us. Which is how we ended up with this curmudgeonly old bastard, Mister Bob Brian.

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Dreamed up by my childhood BFF and I, Lauren Taylor, Danni Emery and illustrated by Graeme McGregor we bring you this loving, cutting pastiche. Paper-cuts from a world that’s glass half empty. More here at misterbobbrian.tumblr.com

We first made these a few years ago, and were lucky to get a lot of praise from the internet but in re-launching them for World Mental Health Day as part of our new cause-driven comedy page, I can see that looking back I can see that whilst they were funny AF to make, at least one of the artists behind it was struggling with an ‘inner Bob’ of our own. I certainly was. Perhaps a reaction to the perky, excessively whimsical perky Ryanny idealism of our twenties, and the Voice of Doom, pessimistic grumpelstiltskin Briannyness of our thirties. Perhaps the Rob Ryan bell of hope was being drowned out by the Bob Brian cacophony of doom. 

But now, 5 years on – wiser, wrinklier, we’ve found our way out – through the mediums of art, in its many guises. Much like the aims behind this brilliant new initiative MADE OF MILLIONS, launching tomorrow. We all walk a daily line between choosing to focus on the clouds or the suns rays. Or trying to be someone’s rainbow… I think Bob runs in my family a bit. Just this week, my siblings and I were teasing one of our family members about needing to invest in a ‘Doom Jar’ so that every time they felt the urge to utter something pessimistic, they’d have to put a coin in. (proceeds to CALM, or MIND). And what happened? We all laughed our heads off.  

Because that’s the one big thing we’ve learned – myself and my co-writer Em have both found that the only way out is through laughter. Every time something bad happens to us, we have a routine now. Ring each other and tell the story. Then there’s a 30 sec pause while we go ‘c’mon, let’s find the joke. Where’s the joke, Lol? Then. There it is! Next thing, we’re roaring with laughter. Feeling less alone. Crying happy tears again. For us, comedy is alchemy. The other side of a coin marked tragedy. Shit happens. Then, skit happens.

So in honour of Trevor Griffiths’ words, ‘Comedy is medicine. Not coloured sweeties to rot the teeth with’ we set up Melon Comedy. A cause-powered comedy collective, specialising in silly films about melancholy things. From Ghosting, to mental illness to Plastic pollution. Oh, and Mister Bob.

Follow/Subscribe/LOL at fb.com/meloncomedy 

Plenty More Fish Fingers in the Sea: Introducing the Break-Up Diet

‘So what’s your secret?’ Harry asked in his best mock-Gok.

Bella smiled. ‘I’m calling it the Break-up Diet. All the slebs are doing it. Last month was the Five-Two – this month it’s the Misery Plan.’

Food plays an important role in any conscious uncoupling, doesn’t it? In Break Up Club the characters tend to swing daily between grief-induced starvation and comfort eating. Clearly, food and our emotions are inextricably intertwined. With that in mind, here’s how to get yourself through ‘The Sad Gap’ to the other side, where ‘happy’ you is waiting!

Phase One – ‘The Break Up Diet’ (weeks 1-2)

OK, you’re broken. You can’t eat because there is a big glacial rock where your intestines should be. So instead you begin a nutrition plan more ferocious than the 5-2 and the Montignac put together.

‘I’m serious. No food has passed my lips in days. Unless you count my own mucous, from crying so much,’ Bella said. ‘Does nasal mucous have any nutritional value?’

Sorry, that was gross – I promise the rest of this blog will be mouth-watering!
To this end, here is your shopping list for Phase One:

– Negroni – this cocktail is your friend because it has NO MIXERS. You heard me – it’s straight up oblivion. You’ll need 1x bottle of Campari, Martini Rosso and Gin of your choice.
– Prosecco, lots of.

For the mornings:

– Diet Coke (or Fat)
– To keep your stomach lining from eating itself, and for nausea prevention:

– Actimel pro-biotic drinks,
– Yoghurt
– ginger biscuits
– Mini cheddars
– bananas
– Soups
– Smoothies

Essentially, you’re regressing to the diet of a toddler, and that’s totes fine. For now.

Phase Two – Carb-loading (weeks 2-4)
The great news is that the big glacier in your belly will eventually melt, as you start to come to terms with your ‘new normal’. By now, the Food-Gates are ajar enough to squeeze some ACTUAL SOLIDS in. And here’s where you can reward yourself with the fattiest, cosiest food imaginable. Why? Because you’ve got a WHOLE TWO WEEKS worth of Calorie Credits!

Go nuts on:

-Cheese, all of the cheese
-Pasta
-Chocolate
-Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie
-Mars ice cream
-More Cheese – Take That if necessary
-Butterkist Microwave Popcorn (butter)
-Macaroni cheese
-Garlic bread
-Treat yourself to a Camembert roaster. Drizzle with rosemary and garlic. Dip all manner of kettle chips into it.
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Phase Three – Fill the nutrition deficit (week 4…)

It’s time to start showing some love to your poor body, and reacquainting your cells with their old friend, nutrition. Start exercising lots and feeding your body with the good stuff. Then you’ll realise you’re actually self-sufficient and don’t need another human to make you whole! From green peas to fresh fish, the aisles are stuffed with plenty of natural highs and ‘Good mood foods’ to get you happy again in a non-bingey, boozy way.

With that in mind, here’s a suggested meal-plan. **Dons Jarvis Cocker dulcet tones**:

Breakfast: Grapefruit halves, topped with caramelised Demerara sugar. Grill until golden brown. Perfectly bittersweet; just like the end of love.

Lunch – A spinach, rocket, beetroot, avocado salad, with omega seeds, olive oil, balsamic, and Fish Fingers. This’ll give you a nice boost of brain food, so that your head can tell your heart: you are indeed better off without that douchebag!

Dinner – Salmon and leek in a garlic, pesto, white wine and sour cream sauce (tweet me for my recipe) (@loreleimathias), with Arborio rice.

It’s honestly delicious, healthy and guaranteed to cheer you up. Not only that, ‘All the food groups and ingredients are represented’ – as they say in The Breakfast Club. Even self-love; which we all know is the most important ingredient.

(originally published at http://www.danielriding.com/2016/10/author-guest-post-plenty-more-fish.html?platform=hootsuite)

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