Occupational Hazards 1: Pun Tourettes

In
the first in a series exploring an advertising creative’s occupational
hazards, Lol fesses up to a recent plunder (is that a pun within a
pun?)…

So, as we know, punning is universally outlawed when writing copy. However, my problem is that, because I’ve taught myself to repress even the slightest whiff of a pun when thinking of ideas, the side effect is that now, as soon as I’m out the door my pun-reflexes go into overdrive. I’m suddenly propelled into thinking of the most awful pun-jokes all the time; in bars, restaurants, parties, wherever. Like a more sinister kind of tourettes, they just pop into my head and I feel compelled to release them. Even though friends are accommodating and do laugh at some of them, it’s still a terrible affliction and one I’m forever apologizing
for. It’s half due to my Romanian father and his uniquely cheesy (and often inappropriate) sense of humour. But it’s mainly to do with how my brain feels the need to do a kind of ‘pun-run’, to get them out my system before Monday morning comes around again.

There are many examples I could confess to but the most recent occurred when Nat and I were at last month’s Hospital Club Creative Awards, (we were there for the ‘Breakthrough
creatives’ award or something – unsurprisingly we were pipped to
the post by Duncan Jones). Anyway, my victim was an
unsuspecting Alex James of Blur, stood next to me at the bar. As he was one of my childhood heroes, I decided to brave a hello, after which a friendly conversation ensued.

Everything was going fine until, ten minutes into the chat, the catastrophic nerve-induced pun reared its ugly head.

Lol: So, are you doing much music these days?

Alex James: No, just cheese.

Lol: So, you’re doing cheesy music?

  
Awful. just awful. He was very nice about it although I’m still shuddering at the memory now. To make matters worse, I then tried to account for my pun, by blaming it on the fact I worked in advertising and that punning was outlawed. But he didn’t believe me. You see that’s the thing; as much as we all try and maintain that advertising ought not to be polluted with puns, the reality is that the general public (like some clients) still think a good ad must involve a nice juicy pun.

Pushing the envelope, the jiffy bag and the file dividers

One of the main things Lol and I have in common is our insatiable desire to steal things. Not big things, just little, pointless things that no one will miss. We both get incredibly excited about discovering where the stationery cupboard is at each new freelance job. When we get in there it’s like being let loose in an adult sweet shop. All of a sudden I start taking things I have absolutely no use for, such as enormous envelopes, sexy lever arch files or those thin plastic sleeves.

We once did a freelance job where they keep the stationery cupboard under lock and key. You have to find a special man with a special key. Knowing I wasn’t allowed in there just made me want it even more. So I pretended I needed to get some layout pads when I really didn’t, so we were allowed in for a whole 5 minutes. The stationery monitor watched us the whole time. I kept saying things like, whilst holding 3 staplers, ‘oh yes, these will be useful’.

What is it about stationery? I love HAVING files, even though I don’t use them or have ANY need for them. It’s just nice knowing they’re there. I suppose it’s like having a car that can go up to 150 miles an hour even when you know you won’t actually go that fast.  Unless of course you’re driving the get-away car from a Ryman’s robbery.
 
My fascination for stationery probably begun when I was about 15. I was turned down for a job in WHSmiths. Why? I was the ultimate stationery fan. I knew all about it. I used to look forward to the thrice annual trip to get a new pencil case before term started. It was always a big decision. You had to get a cool one. Do you remeber the fad for furry pencil cases and the long ones with maths printed on one side?
 
Anyway, I pose the question to you all. What is the best thing you have ever stolen from an agency? Lol’s list of theiving achievments include..
 
Portable Heater (more on “Reginald” later)
Back rest
Foot rest
Speakers
 
My greatest achievment was an entire collection of marker pens. I had EVERY pantone. They were the really special ones with 3 pens in one.
I gave them to people as Christmas presents when I was on placement. (I was broke okay)

Anyway, now that we have fessed up, we hope that the stationery monitors will find it in our hearts to forgive us. We are sorry, we will try to keep our kleptomania (or is it OCD?) under control from now on.
 

What’s in a name? Snozzcumber Vs. Whipple Squeezer

Well hello. Here we are in our post-cannes, post young-lions after life blog. We’ve grown out of our ‘Young’ prefix and we’re now officially Old – heck, I’m almost 28, this is deeply depressing. Perhaps what’s more depressing is that I just said Heck.

Anyway, after a small facebook poll, we have settled on Whipple Squeezer rather than the nostalgic Snozzcumber for our Post-Cannes-cyber-geek-blog identity. If you massively disagree with this verdict then please write in to the usual address.

Moving forward, (on a go-forward basis), we’ll be using this space to talk about all sorts of advertising and non-advertising related random thoughts that no longer have to be about Cannes or La Vie en Rosé. From stationery fetishes to nostalgic crisp packets from 1987 (whispa, eat your heart out), we’ll be rambling about a whole mix of stuff. Some of it will relate in a non-tenuous way, to advertising, and to the on-going crusade against Mr Whipple. We hope none of it will seem like self-indulgent twoddle. But it is a blog, so we’ll just have to see. L & N x