One of the main things Lol and I have in common is our insatiable desire to steal things. Not big things, just little, pointless things that no one will miss. We both get incredibly excited about discovering where the stationery cupboard is at each new freelance job. When we get in there it’s like being let loose in an adult sweet shop. All of a sudden I start taking things I have absolutely no use for, such as enormous envelopes, sexy lever arch files or those thin plastic sleeves.
We once did a freelance job where they keep the stationery cupboard under lock and key. You have to find a special man with a special key. Knowing I wasn’t allowed in there just made me want it even more. So I pretended I needed to get some layout pads when I really didn’t, so we were allowed in for a whole 5 minutes. The stationery monitor watched us the whole time. I kept saying things like, whilst holding 3 staplers, ‘oh yes, these will be useful’.
What is it about stationery? I love HAVING files, even though I don’t use them or have ANY need for them. It’s just nice knowing they’re there. I suppose it’s like having a car that can go up to 150 miles an hour even when you know you won’t actually go that fast. Unless of course you’re driving the get-away car from a Ryman’s robbery.
My fascination for stationery probably begun when I was about 15. I was turned down for a job in WHSmiths. Why? I was the ultimate stationery fan. I knew all about it. I used to look forward to the thrice annual trip to get a new pencil case before term started. It was always a big decision. You had to get a cool one. Do you remeber the fad for furry pencil cases and the long ones with maths printed on one side?
Anyway, I pose the question to you all. What is the best thing you have ever stolen from an agency? Lol’s list of theiving achievments include..
Portable Heater (more on “Reginald” later)
Back rest
Foot rest
Speakers
My greatest achievment was an entire collection of marker pens. I had EVERY pantone. They were the really special ones with 3 pens in one.
I gave them to people as Christmas presents when I was on placement. (I was broke okay)
Anyway, now that we have fessed up, we hope that the stationery monitors will find it in our hearts to forgive us. We are sorry, we will try to keep our kleptomania (or is it OCD?) under control from now on.
LORELEI MATHIAS 